My Psoriatic Arthritis Diagnosis Made Me Angry—But It Also Made Me Stronger

When I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in 2020, I felt one thing: anger.

I’d been living with psoriasis since 1998, so I knew the data: 30% of people with psoriasis go on to develop psoriatic arthritis. But so much time had passed that I truly thought the comorbidity would pass me by. When it ultimately didn’t, I got really upset.

I knew how to manage psoriasis. Psoriatic arthritis was different. It was threatening how I lived my life, and it was happening in the middle of a global pandemic.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be this: Stop wasting time being angry and focus on finding ways to adapt. Be flexible about living your life.

I spent months consumed by rage and frustration, fighting against a reality I couldn’t change rather than learning to deal with it. I wasted a lot of time being angry about something I had no control over.

I wish I’d known that psoriatic arthritis would change my relationship with my body in ways I couldn’t have imagined. There are good days when I almost forget about it, and there are flare days when getting out of bed feels like I just ran a marathon.

One of the hardest but most valuable lessons I’ve learned is to be flexible and adapt to what each day brings, rather than stubbornly fight against my new limitations.

When I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, my daughters were 3 and 5—active, energetic, and always wanting to play make-believe. The first thought that crushed me was, “Will I still be able to get on the floor and play?”

The answer is yes. But some days, it just takes me longer to get up, or I need to rest with a pillow on the ground. 

There are so many things I can still do with my girls. I just do them a little differently.

I can still coach their lacrosse team, but sometimes I need my assistant coach or a player to demonstrate the skill I’m teaching.

I can still support their cheerleading team by managing its social media and marketing, even if I no longer have the physicality for cheer coaching.

My dance moves during kitchen dance parties look different—but they’re still awesome.

Now 8 and 10, my daughters understand that some days I need to move slower. They even help me take my medicine, which is an injection I give myself at home. They like to be in charge of setting up the supplies and counting down to when I administer the shot.

They have adjusted without complaint, and in doing so, they’ve developed a new kind of empathy and flexibility. I want them to have those skills; I just never anticipated they’d learn them through my diagnosis.

I had to try a few options before finding a medication to manage my symptoms, but it only took a few months. That’s quicker than I anticipated. I’ve heard stories from others in the psoriatic disease community of searching for the right medication for years. I needed to find something that worked for both my psoriatic arthritis and my psoriasis because insurance would only cover the cost of one.

It’s still hard for me to accept that treatment isn’t a cure and that it isn’t guaranteed to work forever. My medication mostly manages my symptoms, but there are still days when I can’t open and close my hands when I wake up. The unpredictability has been one of the most challenging aspects of this journey. I wish I’d understood earlier that a treatment plan isn’t just about medications. It’s about lifestyle changes, stress management, nutrition modifications, and learning to pace myself.

Has psoriatic arthritis changed my day-to-day life? Absolutely. But not all changes are negative. I’ve become more intentional with my time and energy. I plan activities knowing my limitations, and I’ve discovered the power of saying “no” to things to protect my energy.

These are some practical management tips I’ve discovered along the way:

• Exercising my hands and grip strength is just as important as exercising my whole body.
• Meal prepping on good days ensures I don’t have to think about eating well on bad days.
• Voice-to-text technology lets me type less, especially because my career is all in front of a computer.
• Daily movement is non-negotiable because it can actually help reduce stiffness. 

Psoriatic arthritis takes a lot out of me mentally and physically, but it has also given me things I never expected. It’s brought me closer to my kids, made me appreciate the good days so much more, and showed me a level of resilience I didn’t know I had.

Through my diagnosis, I’ve developed a love for advocacy work. As a result, I’ve been introduced to the kindest and most supportive community of others living with psoriatic disease.

If you’re newly diagnosed, just know this: The road ahead won’t always be easy, but you’ll figure it out. You’ll find new ways to enjoy life, you’ll adapt, and you’ll realize you’re way stronger than you think. Your life isn’t over—it’s just shifting into something new.